A Change Philosophy

It’s unavoidable. If you live, you experience change. Change in weather, change in priorities, change in location, change in association…the list goes on. It terrifies some and excites others but we all experience it over and over again – it’s unavoidable.

That simple fact drives me to embrace it. I have that logic sometimes. I’ve been hedging my bets on wishes for years. You know; the necklace clasp is in front so kiss it and make a wish or blow out birthday candles and make a wish or blow an eyelash off your fingertip and make a wish…all these opportunities to declare what/who you really want. I always wished for the same thing: fun. I wished I’d have fun that afternoon or evening or even just for a good day that day. I knew there was a very good chance those wishes would come true, so I just kept (keep) on making them. And you know what? I’ve found a tremendous sense of power in my wishing. Who hasn’t thought it would be wicked-cool to make wishes come true? I can do it. I do it all the time:)

first day of schoolKiddo is in his second week at a new school. This change came one week after returning from our visit with family and friends in South Africa. He had a double ear infection (then undiagnosed) and I didn’t get him to bed on time the Friday, Saturday or the Sunday before his first day…nor the Monday or Tuesday following it. We had our reasons and he got some good naps in but wow…how’s that for some change?

And still, his reports from school have been glowing. He’s been so excited to go there and his teacher is complimentary of his manners (score: 1 Mama) and besides peeing himself a little during his first few naptimes, he’s dealing well with the change at school. At home, of course, it’s a slightly different story.

Llama llama, mad at mama. If there is a whine to be given, I’m getting it. Meltdowns, temper tantrums and all things four and fearsome (ok, he’s 3.5 but he started his terrible 2’s early, too!) are directed at me – and me alone. Fair enough, I am the instigator of much of this change, but his current tactics won’t get him anywhere with the rest of the world and it’s my job to teach him that; by not indulging him now.*

Kiddo needs to learn how to roll with the punches – because there will be punches. I’m hedging my wishes (for him to grow into a happy adult) by teaching him to do so. I wish for him to see a lesson in every challenge, an adventure in every detour and potential in every surprise. I want him to have fun.

I suspect more grown ups would have fun if they responded to change the way kiddo did the past couple of weeks. It’s ok to pee yourself a little when it sneaks up on you but try and use your manners while in company and save your craziness for those you trust can take it. That exercise of discipline alone should make it easier for you to start seeing a lesson in every challenge, an adventure in every detour and potential in every surprise. And if you’re still struggling? Plant some perennials, take up a weekly class or create some other constant in your life. But please make what you can of the changes, too.

I’m always surprised when my perennials come in…
the yard becomes so familiar again!
Still, with their leaving they’ve brought forth a change~
though each time different, they will come again.

*DISCLAIMER: Hubby would argue I’m more indulgent than I should be…he’s right.

So how about you? Are you a change-a-holic or a change-a-phob? What constants have you created in your life you can come back to again and again when change becomes overwhelming?


5 responses to “A Change Philosophy

  1. Your comments about perennials remind me of planting fall bulbs. I’ve always thought that planting them is a great exercise in faith… you put them in the ground and in the spring they come up. 🙂

  2. As always, a great and thought provoking post. I am so good at/used to change that I am not great at sticking at things. Being an eternal optimist, I find starting things very exciting and when I was younger I never thought about what strategies I could/should put in place when things become more routine. That is now on my list of things to work on.
    Incidentally, I think I may have managed to cross something off that list – to relax more.
    I’ve been to hypnotherapy a few times (not at all as hokey as it sounds) and left feeling great but could never sustain the feeling or recreate the effect alone. When things get busy it’s always the things that don’t affect others that get forgotten (i.e, the ‘you’ time). So, I downloaded free meditation/relaxation pod-casts so I can do a little everyday 🙂 I got them from greenesrelease.com & themeditationpodcast.com

    • Thanks, Jan.

      Wow, it sounds like you’re making some important strides! I find fewer things “hokey” the more things I try…there’s just something about getting out of your comfort zone and exposing yourself to new ideas and methods. I (also the eternal optimist:))can almost always find a perspective that allows me to pull a lesson from them…even if the perspective is unconventional.

      I’ve also been getting into meditation lately – breathing and visualization exercises in particular. It totally takes me back to driving to tennis matches with my mom when I was a tween…I can remember her encouraging me to picture myself with a beautiful backhand…:) I’m going to check out those websites…thanks for sharing!

  3. Pingback: Comfort in Ritual « Pot Luck Mama

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